On getting used to things

I find it difficult to adjust sometimes.

Many changes are easy, they just roll off my back. I think it is because a lot of the sacrifices are accompanied by huge benefits.

The pay off for losing Trader Joe's and Whole Foods as grocery stores is going to the Shuk HaCarmel and meeting the farmers and shopkeepers.

By losing my favorite clothing stores, I have learned to shop carefully, with an eye for detail. I have also started crafting more and remixing my existing clothes in new ways. My new rule is that a new item of clothing must be worth taking back to the States in a suitcase AND that it must have at least five potential outfit possibilities.

Now that I have long (for me) hair, I am frustrated by the weight and heat-retention while enjoying the new updos and not having to wash it before leaving the house.

And the trade off for giving up some independence and solitude is the lovely companionship that comes from being with people. The trouble comes when I have to go back to the way I was after having togetherness. It hurts and I don't see a pay off.

I thought hospitality was universal...

Harrumf.

My friends and I went to a Shabbat dinner and lunch while we were in Rome. They were kindly arranged by the Chabad on Rome and I gave a donation to thank the families that hosted us. I just contacted the Chabad to get addresses for the host families to send thank you cards and was informed that one of the families was upset that I bought my friends who are not Jewish.

Now, I can understand their frustration, but while we were at their home they we much less than hospitable. We were seated at the end of the table and the man of the house spoke to me once or twice and his wife barely looked at us. My friends, who had only experienced Shabbat meals at my house and at the other host family (who were lovely and welcoming) were disappointed. I was disappointed, but now I am irritated, on the cusp of enraged.

I would like to know what these people think when non-Jews have assumptions like "Jews only care bout other Jews" or "Jews are mean and hostile to outsiders" or "Jews don't want non-Jew around their families". I am not blaming all misconceptions on the actions of Jews and Jewish communities, but this family had the opportunity to give these non-Jews a positive and warm experience. Who knows, maybe my friends would have come out of the experience as stronger advocates for their Jewish neighbors. We can't expect non-Jews to go out of their way to explain away what seems like institutionalized Jewish rudeness.

I will not apologize for bringing my friends with me to a meal that I donated money for where we were treated badly. This is the very epitome of "shandah for the goyim" - a Jewish disgrace in front of non-Jews. Something that exposes the worst in our community that will have to be explained away.

Chabad of Queens College

I hope that the family in question will eventually learn something that is a more basic and central value of Judaism than Kashrut, or Shabbat, or almost anything else. Hospitality. Abraham and Sarah are remembered as having welcomed everyone into their tent. It was an expression of openness and sharing and generosity. I pray that we will all recognize the importance of these things.

That being said, I thank the other family that opened their home to us and shared beautiful words of Torah. Truly having fulfilled the mitzvah of hachnasat orchim (welcoming of guests).

Our little visitor: Uzi the Puppy

We fostered this doggy for about a week while Sweet J was considering adopting him.

He was the sweetest ever! Very cuddly and affectionate.

He was so well behaved as well! We left him alone a couple of times and he didn't make any trouble, not even knocking things over.

E and I miss him horribly now. Today I swept the floor and ended up with an avalanche of Uzi fur in the dustpan.

Come back Uzi!

OOTD: Fake it 'til you make it

A couple weeks ago I was going through a pretty intense down time. I was deep in my dark place. One of the things I decided to do was start dressing up again because it makes me feel better.

This is the result.

That is a handmade vest. Handmade by YGirl.

Getting Better...

I've been pretty grumpy lately. My dark place started the Tuesday after Emily and Scott left and has been continuing, getting darker and scarier. I have been depressed, feeling yucky, sluggish, angry, tearful, heavy. I got frustrated with everyone and everything. I was getting jealous and snarky and mean.

I have decided to fake it until I make it. I started dressing better and reminding myself to attend to my self-care. I want to take care of everyone around me, but I neglect myself.

I did some exercise and cooked some real food.

Today I went to Tel Aviv by myself and tried on some pretty clothes, ate good pasta and met up with lovely Shira.

It's getting brighter out there.